Change
I’ve recently realized the danger of being loyal to the wrong person. It broke one’s soul and heart, putting one in a state of hopelessness. I realized that there is one thing that can be done. It is called disengage. Remove oneself from toxic relationships. Learn to control feelings. Learn not to care. Knowing how to read a person would have been really helpful to avoid such unnecessary pain. So, pain does make you stronger and wiser.
So, I learn to read people quickly. Reading gestures and studying psychology. It is interesting. It is my defense to avoid myself from getting hurt. To avoid getting too emotionally involved in anything. But that is kinda sad isn’t it? Seems like I will be holding myself back in anything. Never again to go head on with full strength. What a drag.
Having friends that supports is the best feeling ever. But such friend is rare. So I am grateful to have these few people in my life that is not related by blood … who always be there to listen to my troubles. Come to think of it, I haven’t been joking for a while. Feels like I have lost my sense of humor. It’s not like I have any mood for a good joke anyway. Busy with stressful school works.
Somehow having these lovely housemates makes me feel better. I don’t feel alone. I haven’t been feeling lonely for a while. I guess they are the right people to hang out with. On the other hand, interacting with this certain person always put me in a bad mood. I should have disengaged a long time ago. I realize that now. Actually I think I have experienced too much sadness to come to this realization. I don’t think my heart can support anymore despair. It has reached its limit. Thus, all my actions now shall aim towards contributing the most happiness to my life.
Please give me strength to live life to the fullest.
Trails of The Shining Shadow ~ 